A new nanny is a big change for a child, even a good change. A little preparation turns the first weeks from tearful goodbyes into a calm new routine.
Talk about it early
For toddlers and older children, explain the change a few days ahead in simple words: "Auntie Wanjiku is going to look after you when Mummy goes to work." Use the nanny’s name often. If the previous nanny is leaving, let your child say goodbye properly rather than disappearing without explanation.
Plan a handover period
If you can, spend the first two or three days at home with the new nanny. Let her watch the routine, then gradually take over while you are still around. Short absences at first, like a trip to the shops, help your child learn that you always come back.
Put the routine in writing
- Wake-up, meal, nap and bath times
- Favourite foods, and any allergies
- How your child is comforted, and their comfort object
- Screen-time and discipline rules you follow
- Emergency numbers, your paediatrician and the nearest hospital
Stick a copy on the fridge. Consistency between you and the nanny is what makes children feel secure.
Let your child set the pace
Some children warm up in an hour, others take a couple of weeks. Encourage the nanny to join in with things your child already loves, like a favourite game, song or storybook, rather than forcing cuddles. Trust is built through play and predictability.
Keep goodbyes short and positive
Sneaking out may avoid tears in the moment, but it can make children anxious about when you will vanish next. Say a brief, cheerful goodbye, tell them when you will be back, and leave. Most children settle within minutes once the parent has gone.
Check in, with both of them
Ask your nanny how the day went and what worked. With older children, ask open questions at bedtime: "What was the best part of today with Auntie?" In the first weeks, a brief chat each evening helps you catch small issues before they grow.
Normal adjustment or a concern?
Clinginess, extra tears at drop-off and changes in sleep are normal for the first couple of weeks. Be concerned if your child becomes fearful of the nanny, has unexplained injuries, or the upset gets worse over time rather than better. Trust your instincts and talk to your agency.
